Author Archives: AndreL


WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN: Left/Right conspiracy theories

I was as shocked as anyone at the images and sounds of the storming of the Capitol. And I also share the sadness of those who have expressed feeling betrayed by Trump. Despite being a Canadian, I think I get it.

There is much that remains to be unpacked from the past 4 years, but in view of the political violence that is mounting by the Left against the Right, I feel the need to address “conspiracy theories.”


People are not “wired” to believe in a conspiracy theory, they are wounded into it. They are disenfranchised into it. They are discriminated into it. Their suspicion is founded on evidence of corruption and lies over long periods of time, and over serious matters directly impacting their lives. They have valid complaints and their pain is not imagined.

There is however a narrative that can exponentially worsen the feeling of alienation millions feel toward their governments. And the Left calls for extreme measures against Republicans is a clear reveal of their own conspiracy theories: they want to control the future of politics by destroying lives and careers, believing this will prevent any future political disappointment like 2016.

So the Left has created a scapegoat 75 million strong. And they have set a narrative embraced by otherwise lucid and mostly coherent people, and suddenly they cannot see people in front of them – only political enemies, worse: enemies of the State. And so the Left has become what it accuses the Right of being.


Sifting through it all requires time, grief, empathy and understanding. It helps if you have been taken into one yourself, whether in school, college, in relationships, work, church, etc. To free oneself from one conspiracy is not a guarantee you “won’t get fooled again.” And be sure of this: the Right sees the Left being hypnotized too.

Despising QAnon believers does not absolve the Left (and it’s “elite”) from its decades-long campaigns of loathing, public mocking and shaming and even economic warfare against the Right. Far from it. The Left too has some “beliefs” that are infantile, illogical, and that trigger street violence, murder attempts, pushes for wars, human civil rights inequalities, mob mentality and sheer nastiness.

Despising the Left and blanket-slander them ALL as being Maoists, Socialists, Fascists or Authoritarians, this only the mirror image of what they are doing to the Right. And there is nothing more primal, unevolved, immature than for adults to borrow those narrative and make them theirs, with the “action paths” that are presented to them, making them the instruments of a social-engineering clique at the top of the food chain.

They can pontificate and virtue signal as if they were ‘above it all,” or “better than that,” but very few actually come out and state how bad their own side acts, and how their “solutions” for creating a better world will actually encourage crushing the poor and disenfranchised, abandon the homeless, and generate even sharper and more damaging division, racism, sexism, etc. They just refuse to see it. But others do.


So in conclusion, accusing and demonizing people on a political spectrum as being gullible is a denial of reality and doesn’t advance anything. Dialogue in humility, and passion, is the only path that will unite people of different political persuasions. Reading the “right” paper, or watching the “right” channels, laugh with the “right” crowd about the “wrong” one – that is infantile and irresponsible. If you think QAnon is dangerous, think about the Left’s response to it.

As believers (those who are) we need to – what was the term we used to refer to hospitality of soul – “hold space.” And politics don’t qualify us to be better or worse than any other. It is HOW we walk and TREAT people which determines if we have journeyed and matured in love’s fields of human sorrow.

Let’s first a third way, a better way. Let it be coherent with our love of Light and Truth, of our aspirations for a better world.

Peace and love to all, today and the whole year.

Here are The Who with Pete Townshend’s perceptively amazing prophetic song.


(This is about the American society, but could be applied elsewhere).

President Joe Biden is the 46th president of the United States. Yesterday was the inauguration. I skipped it, I avoided anything to do with it, but it kept me up all night anyways – I was missing something I needed in order to move forward.

Over the past 4 years I have done a lot of thinking, been confronted with and witnessed a lot of unfathomable hypocrisy, double standards, violence, pure evil and much despair.

As a survivor of childhood abuse, it took me a few decades to move from defiance and self-harm, to daring to expose abuse and confront abusers. In Anonymous groups, there is a saying about making amends, which for me is also implied for other situations: “…except when to do so would injure them or others.” This awareness of possible harm to others is for me like the tiger on the rescue boat Pi Patel finds himself on in the Life Of Pi movie.

Being that my values are a mixture of Conservatism and Liberalism, I have good friends on a variety of political nodes (except supremacists and extremists). And I trust their judgment, most of the time, and I read their sources, verifying their claims and getting better understanding of their opinions, I do a lot of fact-checking, and I have some aversion for double standards.

Now, I’m a Canadian, so my opinion is worth what you decide it is worth. I have read and watch all I could stomach on America’s foreign policies over the past many decades. carry a deep-seated But for the past few months I’ve been holding on

Lately I haven’t been sleeping well at all. In the violent swirl of both hopes and rage on my timeline, domestic and foreign, I got deeply affected. I lost friends, motivation, and hope.

But REALITY does not stop moving forward, and the work is mine to find out how to put up my sail to catch the wind of change, so I would not be turned into a statue of salt.

So I decided to watch a replay of the inauguration, not for the politicians (stinky bunch, those), but to see THE PEOPLE’S HOPES being expressed, and not mainly their national pride.

And that is when I started to feel the wind again as I watched children, youth and adults join in expressing their joyful hopes and optimism and I pondered about that.

I thought of all the messages and video footage they have been exposed to, all the lies, the statements, the slanders, the insults, the mockeries, the loathing and bickering. They were exposed to  political trench wars while their whole world is tilting due to the pandemic, the isolation, parents losing jobs and hope.

Yes there will be challenges ahead, some as serious as before no matter who would be in the White House. Those who believe they are getting away with their dark deeds, foreign and domestic, they are not. It is now part of their moral code, their conscience is seared, and there is a harvest awaiting them down the road.

But I was strangely rejuvenated by the presentations, real testaments to a survival spirit, to faith in the power of community. It strikes me how all of these were also declaring an oath: “We are here, this is our moment to shine, for our voices to unite and uniquely engrave in history – and in the hearts and minds of all those under the sound of our voices – our pledge to build a better country, to clean up, to reach out and to remind ourselves of our commitment along the way.

And I remembered that the act of letting go was the wisest thing I had ever done before in life when confronted with insurmountable challenges. And when it comes to deadly self-destructive addictions, there’s always a hook that keeps our souls bogged down, which has nothing to do with the reasons we give ourselves to indulge.

And letting go of these hooks – when finally made aware of it or of them – freed me to be transformed and fueled for a new season, a new destination. And I spent all night being pulled this way and that and wrestling to find a place of peace and freedom.

I arbor no addictions (25 years sober), but I have been operating out of the same old paradigms as before. “Dry drunk,” they call it. But I’m alive to pursue the work of healing and transformation unhindered by the constant sliding down the hill into the gutter as I used to. By God’s grace. Abundant and accessible.

So I don’t have to make sense of everything, I know I can’t. The game keeps changing, and it involves billions more people than the handful of rooks we elect in governments. I would have to reduce everything to the limitations of my own incomplete and flawed inner vision.

WHEN HOPE IS THE TRUE MESSAGE, it will radiate from the people who promote it. It will not be just a political slogan. I decided I needed to believe the people who believe in it: those who surmount ancestral grievances, those who are exhausted from seeing only one name or ideology occupying the whole space, those who have the optimism of youth to pull their generation forward with enthusiasm and boldness.

There is something pure and genuine rising from their messages. THEIR brand of hope is probably not the brand of hope of old political dinosaurs mixed up in all kind of shady dark room deals. They will figure it out. This is their battle now. I had my turn. Now that I’m on my way out, I want to support them, and their labor of hope, no matter the side of politics they choose as a vehicle (within limits). I want to be holding space for them to own their place in history, their destiny.

And I found out this morning that doing so in my heart, candidly, granted me a measure of strength I didn’t expect could be restored. How then shall I live? The same way that I hope – relying on grace, extending grace, and learning to love and be loved. FREE and creative, and hopefully having a guard at my mouth, God helping…

There’s music to be made, however. Like this… Some were moved by the poem. Me, I felt this “duet” was the crowning moment of it all. One in Hollywood, one in Washington, DC.



The neighbor or the enemy? Love them both (Jesus)

Disclaimer: I’m a Canadian, with tons of American friends whose social media I read daily)

I’ve done a lot of thinking lately. It felt like I was reliving 2016, but from another viewpoint. And I thought… It could get worse before it gets better. And looking for voices of reason, I hear a lot of mixture, not all of it good. Not even a little bit. Hearts and minds are sent to different rooms to write their essays.

Instead of ramming Republicans still holding to their hope for a “proper count,” (independently from the partly frivolous claims – that’s on them, they’ll have to live with what they support or not), they defend their candidate for reasons you may disagree with (and often lack real understanding about in their context), do you ever stop to realize that they are part of the same body as you?

When you hurt them, you hurt yourself, and tens of millions with whom you share humanity and space, you trample their dignity and sacredness, you declare them unfit for life in society except parked in the boxes you design for them, hands bound so they don’t touch anything that would disrupt your illusory utopia.

But it is not only YOUR society. It is not only YOUR country. It is YOURS (collectively, and as a matter of stewardship and continuity).

So when you vilify their faith, their hopes, their reasons for voting red, you by the same token discredit the reasons why *you vote blue – you make it about you being better than them. You assign yourself a higher value, a superiority of mind and soul, you discriminate, and isolate.

This isn’t about clever analysis of someone’s mental health or fitness for office: I’d like to see any of us be president for a week… No, this is about paying attention at how far we go to justify the inner darkness that is being triggered from inside of us because WE may be denied what WE believe SHOULD be.

So who’s having a tantrum now? When you spend hours and hours, days and months banging that same nail, you do. When you fill the air with that darkness, while advocating for what you claim YOUR earthly kingdom would reflect of the heavenly king, believing YOUR perspective should be mandatory for all to follow your path, or else they will be stoned with public disgrace and stigmatized as Dalit – you do.

And the message goes to Republicans too. When you hurt Democrats (or Socialists), you hurt yourself. Some of you have been doing this to Obama voters for 8 years, and beyond. And now to Biden voters, and to those you have been told threaten the earthly republic you believe should be reflecting your view of a Christian country.

I’ve done that too. I’ve joined one side or the other in their criticisms, political humor, trying to get understanding and focus, yet falling for the comic relief at the cost of the humanity.

As long as we play these games of scapegoating, we feed these inner demons in us and others,  and we can’t hide them behind virtue signaling cleverness we practice in front of our inner mirror – they laugh at us when we do and call us “damn bloody blind fools, you are mine!”

Yes, we only fool ourselves when we add wood to the fires of fellowship of hatred, with sly and clever worldly humor. It’s a secret handshake, an admission password to the tribes of acceptance we created around the indulgence to an inner violence we justify by pointing fingers.

People without spiritual lives may have an excuse, temporarily, but we who claim to have spirituality and yet engage in these daily, hourly rituals, enabled by and empowered by the shotguns of social media, we’re revealing that we’re just the same as those we loathe: petty, short-sighted, mean.

Except that for us, “spiritually enhanced” human specimens, it is a choice.

Ponder that.

You have heard it said:
Hate your enemy, love your neighbor.
Repay an eye for an eye.

But your enemy is besides AND inside you…
The one accusing, is the one in need.
“Love your enemy, forgive, do good to him/her…
and you will be sons and daughters
of your heavenly Father.”
– Jesus

We can do better, but we need each other to clear up this mess we’ve made of heavenly things.
Peace and love,



“In a tree by the brook
There’s a songbird who sings
“Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiving”
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder”
(Led Zeppelin, Stairway To Heaven)

A Canadian’s humble observations

Referees are still looking at video replays in slow motion, searching the rule book, arguing about the play, calling upstairs, talking about precedents… yet half the fans have already left the game hailing their team as world champions, and partying outside wrapped in a social blanket of relief the game is over and their wish is the law. But is it, really?

“Facts on the ground” is how colonial powers advance the narrative of illegitimate conquests. This is how the elite addresses obstacles to its claims of entitlement.

I think a reckoning of sort descends on our consciences as we come to realize just how traumatized so many Americans are/were. That reckoning is a choice between outcomes and methods, and prioritizing social health, as if Covid-19 was a warning and invitation, a symptom of the infection in many of our governing institutions (not just in the USA), a call to action.

Yet the outcome they rave about “may” have been prematurely called. There seems to be some confusion about the meaning of the words “rule of law,” “nobody’s above the law,” “count every vote,” “hoax,” “science,” “fair,” “elected,” “presumptive,” etc.

The emotional toll of 4 years of hatred, hoaxes, lies, slander, weaponization of racism, narcissistic schemes and exploits, division, and violence, is suddenly appeased by the sacrifice of the scapegoat. Jubilation on the streets. The rage has morphed into innocent fun, and feeling of “all is forgiven if you step aside.” So, all in all, a very strange but profoundly meaningful situation.

Designated by the high priests, the fattened scapegoat was now charged with the sins of the people, and of the priests, who all welcome the propitiation on their behalf, only too happy to believe they are now absolved of all sins and a new beginning is here for them. Meanwhile, the scapegoat is set to be sent away, burdened with sins not all his own but selected by the priests, according to their own spiritual laws and power agenda.

For the people, the cremation of Care gives them hope that their world will be a better place. The Maganiac Orange play is over. Except they conveniently overlook (or willingly ignore) the fact that the high priests are still in power, and that those who designate the scapegoats themselves will never be held accountable, but always appear as “deus machina.”

And now the benevolent new king prepares to rule. The train has slowed down  to speed limits, and people don’t have to hang on for dear life while still moving apace toward their destiny-nation.

Oh and back at the stadium, somebody locked the doors on the referees, now trapped, willed away, silenced, rendered irrelevant.

People will eventually go about their business, dealing with a new set of rules, restrictions, calls for social responsibility, and transition of power… maybe. I will not miss the drama, the mocking, the insults, the hot air ballooned egos jockeying for prominence or the never-ending strings of “smoking guns” and the “breaking news scoops” manufactured by the opposition who holds population on edge for months about nothing of substance. It is indeed emotionally exhausting.

Although Trump obviously made it real easy for them, as if he did not understand the rules of the game on the surface, taking things quite personally, almost as if he held a deep identification with the country he was now the president of, and an attack on him meant an attack on the country he vowed to bring back from the brink of self-destruction.

So, I am cautiously optimistic at the coming years will cause America to feel some deeper cohesion around its core binarism, and move forward toward addressing important human rights and social justice challenges in America and in countries where America is involved. Without the constant congestion of our airwaves with denigration and loathing, from official media outlets knowingly dividing the people (well, maybe they just can’t help it as is he nature of marketing and target groups).

Maybe in the absence of this constant bombardment and conditioning, America will be freer to move into a season of post-capitalism without falling into the historical delusions that negate individual agency in favor of coercive homogeneity.

Moving on, for now things look the same – Hillary 2016 and Trump 2018: mirror ordeals… And I’m sure I’m missing several angles of this otherwise complex transition time, as we face even more Covid-19 inspired decisions from our governments.

Hoping to stay alert…

JOHN PILGER – Break The Silence – 2016

Do we care enough to live with the truth of what is still happening in the world at the hands of super-powers, and break the silence about it?

Renowned Australian journalist and film-maker John Pilger is shooting his new film in the Pacific and Asia. He describes a ‘wall of propaganda’ and asks: does Australia care?

A THIRD WORLD WAR HAS BEGUN, this may be the reason why only DONALD TRUMP or HILLARY CLINTON can be the next president. Hillary is informed and could totally track with this agenda. Trump could totally be made a patsy, a scapegoat. But when did it really start? Could the expression “the 3dr time is the charm (spell)” actually be an indication, or do we really believe that worldwide tragic events that linger in countries and continents for generations, are caused randomly and disconnected one from another? Can we handle the truth, and if not, can we do something about it? If anything, if we have a spiritual life at all, we need to pray and ask for insight and wisdom.


Since a very high percentage of those who come out and vent their (veiled) disgust toward LGBTQ are heterosexual Christian males, I thought I’d offer them some food for thought.
This blog post is not trying to “SHAME” anyone, but to draw the curtain on the other side of the “LGBTQ vs Christians” debate. In fact there isn’t a real debate, not a real conversation. I have repeatedly tried to point to this over the last year, since I myself came to realize I had only one answer: to belabor the same talking points over and over again. I had to repent and since then it allowed me to move forward in my understanding of God’s expectations toward myself and others.
So much obsession about sex, though… Could it be hiding something? Let’s explore that potential, shall we?
“A number of years ago a national conference for church youth directors was held at a major hotel in a city in the mid-west. Youth pastors by the hundreds flooded into that hotel and took nearly every room. At the conclusion of the conference, the hotel manager told the conference administrator that the number of guests who tuned into the adult movie channel broke the previous record, far and away outdoing any other convention in the history of the hotel.”
(Steve Farrar, ‘Finishing Strong’)
“I interviewed hotel managers about this when I was teaching in the sociology department at Univ of Virginia. All managers said that porn rates increase during conferences in general. That’s normal because they have more guests. A few admitted that it seems to be the same or a bit more when Christian conferences come to town. One manager was a Christian and he said a line I’ll never forget: “Unfortunately, ‘they know you are Christians by your…porn consumption’ is more truthful than ‘love’ when it comes to this.”
(Justin Holcomb)
In her book Sex, Lies and the Media, Eva Marie Everson recounts the following story: “My friend Jack Samad with the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families shocked me with the story of his attendance at a religious convention. The manager of the hotel where he had been staying noticed the posters and other paraphernalia he had carried through the lobby early one morning and then back in again later that afternoon. He stopped Jack and asked him what he was doing with all that information on pornography. Jack told him he was part of the Christian conference being held in the city. The manager chuckled. “Get real,” he said. Porn movies in our hotel are accessed at a higher rate during Christian conventions than at any other time.”
“With statistics showing that at least half of Christian men and 20% of women are viewing porn (see Porn Statistics) this means that the church, God’s people, are:
1. Funding the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Millions of Christian Americans are tithing to two churches: the church of God and the porn-church of Satan. We’re literally backing the work of demons.
2. Supporting the destruction of men, women and children. The U.S. is the porn producer of the world, and the church is paying pornographers so they can continue to produce more materials that will destroy the lives of the actors and actresses in those movies, and the marriages, families and children in every corner of society.
3. Corrupting ourselves. Our hearts are stained with lust and our marriages and families are paying the price.
4. Giving mixed messages to the world. On one hand we’re holding God’s standards for sexual purity aloft, while in the next we’re winking at the enemy. The Bible calls such people Hypocrites… Pharisees.
5. Dishonoring the Lord. What does our approval and funding of the porn industry say about God? Does it make the outside world question His power, or even His existence? After all, shouldn’t a powerful God be strong enough to free His people from sin? Or… is the problem that we really want our sin more than God?
6. Fueling the demand for porn. A big market for their product encourages the porn industry to ramp up production; more lives are destroyed.
7. Putting ourselves nearer to God’s judgment and discipline (or scourging, as the writer in Hebrews 12:6 puts it). Not a good place to be.
The above should make us sick to our stomach… angry…. and broken hearted. We’re destroying lives. We’re backing Satan’s work. We’re sending people to hell. A church does this when it refuses to take bold action and confront the truth.” (Source = Mike Genung –
Technically, I am not sure, but to me it’s like marijuana is to stronger drugs – entry-level dive downward.
“In his book “The Sexual Man”, Dr. Archibald Hart revealed the results of a survey of some 600 Christian men, on the topic of masturbation:
– 61% of married Christian men masturbate
– 82% of these have self sex on an average of once a week;
– 10% have sex with self 5-10 times per month, 6% more than 15 times per month, and 1% more than 20 times a month.
– 13% of Christian married men said they felt it was normal.
– 77% of online visitors to adult content sites are male. Their average age is 41 and they have an annual income of $60,000. 46% are married. (Forrester Research Report, 2001)
AND THE MAIN REASON THE WORLD IS DISGUSTED BY CHRISTIANITY is NOT because so many Christians and churches act as holier than thou and cause people to live in depression, rejection, dejection, oppression and condemnation – although that’s enough to warrant running away – but mainly because of the way church-going Christians have a very hard time loving one another. For reals. And THAT is the ONE commandment Jesus gave us. And He added no condition to it: just go and do this, your neighbor is anybody in need you cross path with. Before we keep filling online threads about our superior knowledge of Scripture, let’s OBEY the commandment Scripture points to.
We can help reduce the amount of waste of relationships online, and encourage younger believers, and well-intentioned but misguided older ones, to focus on what is really important. Humanity is self-defeating, self-destructing. No one (1) sin is responsible for this state of affair, rather it is as old as the world is. It’s time we start saturating the world with a Christian love that moves beyond prerequisites for love and dignity.
Andre Lefebvre
21st Century Christians FB Group
Thank you to for their article : “Statistics and information on pornography – internet porn and other forms – in the USA”


HOW DID WE USE PUBLIC BATHROOMS BEFORE? As recommended by the manufacturers, and according to the law of nature: guys looking like guys used the guys’ bathroom, and girls looking like girls using the girls’ bathroom. As far as I know, sexual orientation is not a gender, so we don’t need a third option. BUT transgenderism IS a gender. Uh… what? Yes, indeed – they are either male or female. Now that this is out of the way, let’s consider a few brief things concerning the deafening conversation of deafs going on right now.

1- As I suggested in another article titled TRANSGENDER – NOT A DISGUISE, BUT AN IDENTITY,

“Aren’t we all people of contradiction? Yes we are. Still, something in me was restless, I hated not being able to move beyond my disapproval of the polarizing “politics of the gay agenda” which tries to impose its views through unilateral legislation, and equaling suspicion of – or actual – discrimination with being homicidal, pushing people toward suicides, or inciting violence toward LGBTQ, and the other side of the coin (in my case, Christianity) where Jesus teaches us to love one another as He loves us.”

“I’m nowhere near the sweet spot of walking in love as I wish I was, but I will never be ashamed of having walked this journey with as much integrity as I could muster, despite being insulted, mocked and ostracized by people who, for the most part, hardly ever took the time to get to know me. Ironic, isn’t it, that coming from people advocating equality…”

It seems the polarizing of positions has blurred which we defend: some Christians go around preaching purity and moral values, with a bazooka at the ready, and quickly re-armed, while some pro-LGBTQ preach tolerance with words of molten lava, and those who Are Christians may even call us non-Christians based on our performance in the area of social justice “cause du jour.”

The reason why that is? We get our cues from mob mentality, rather than common sense and courtesy. The lost art of conversation has been replaced with call-to-action slogans, intimidation and threat, insults, outright ignorant or idiotic narratives. The infamous bathroom bill is the latest proof of how much we need to take action to recapture the freedom we claim we fought for.


QUOTE: “Does HB2 affect rights of people who aren’t gay or transgender?

Yes. The law limits how people pursue claims of discrimination because of race, religion, color, national origin, biological sex or handicap in state courts. The law also means a city or county cannot set a minimum wage standard for private employers.”

IN OTHER WORDS, if you are fired, or discriminated against, as a man, woman, migrant, Muslim, Christian, LGBTQ, teenager, child, etc., the law establishes the acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour of private persons and employers, AND IT FORBIDS local governments to impose different parameters.

Before we get all tangled up in a “OMG! the gay agenda is being pushed again!!,” (I know – too late…) let us realize that it’s not the gay agenda in play, but actually a state legislated push-back against the gay activism, limiting the legal reach of local disagreement, the right of cities to have laws that are different than the State, as well other types of discrimination which would now have less power to oppose the State’s laws. Including wages, private companies regulations, racism and sexism, etc.
Time to THINK FOR OURSELVES AGAIN! How sad that we can be wiggled into outrage so quickly without applying discernment, and believing Christian leaders and the gay agenda narrative. Christians need to wake up and start thinking things through, and gently rebuke the lies. We hate lies, don’t we?


I knew it would happen to me one day. I secretly admired believers who seemed to have no barriers, or be animated by a more mature love than I toward LGBTQs. It’s been a long journey, and all I could do was to state over and over where I got stuck, what I knew to be obvious, testing my own opinions against a tide of contrary ones with both passion and frustration. Today, the dam broke for me. I want to express my gratefulness to Simon Wilson who broke my isolation with one sentence, without insults, on a Facebook thread.
I had wondered and was seeking to engage (again) in a conversation, to learn from those of the opposing view. Needless to say, my (debatable) delivery was almost all  that people could see. And immediately the knifes starting flying in my direction. But since when do I have to espouse all the thinking and opinions of one group of people I may share similarities with? Aren’t we all people of contradiction? Yes we are. Still, something in me was restless, I hated not being able to move beyond my disapproval of the polarizing “politics of the gay agenda” which tries to impose its views through unilateral legislation, and equaling suspicion of – or actual – discrimination with being homicidal, pushing people toward suicides, or inciting violence toward LGBTQ, and the other side of the coin (in my case, Christianity) where Jesus teaches us to love one another as He loves us.
I’m always shocked and saddened by accounts of violence against gays, youth suicides, substance abuse, excommunications, murders, etc. IT WILL NEVER BE OK. We all want to be understood. We all want to be the hero at least once. We all want a place of honor, to be welcomed, included, find a home. It’s no different whether we find ourselves on one side of an issue or the other.
I’m nowhere near the sweet spot of walking in love as I wish I was, but I will never be ashamed of having walked this journey with as much integrity as I could muster, despite being insulted, mocked and ostracized by people who, for the most part, hardly ever took the time to get to know me. Ironic, isn’t it, that coming from people advocating equality…
Going forward will follow the same pattern: being real, even if unpopular, accepting that I cannot go at it alone, and trusting that the Holy Spirit will drop drops of light on my journey in due time. As I believe He does for everyone. It’s a matter of responding to it, I think. And I’m saying yes to being changed. This is too serious.
I will respect the right of everyone to pursue the sexual partner they choose, that is not my place to legislate on that, although I do personally hold to the traditional man/women configuration. But I also will expect to be respected to not agree with everything having to do with that. And the freedom (‘sanity’ seems a more fitting word) to wrestle with my opinions and that of others.
In closing, I’m offering a glimpse into my past to set a backdrop to my own dilemmas, and the maturing process of personal opinions:
I was molested as a boy, and as a pre-teen, I cross-dressed once or twice as a teenager “for fun” (which teen hasn’t?). I had homosexual encounters as a young adult (wrapped in a spiritual meaning of some kind), I lived in Montreal’s Gay Village for about 2 years, but I never embraced homosexuality as a lifestyle, nor did I ever experienced desires for men. But when my first marriage broke-up, the first book I reached for was Leanne Payne’s “Crisis in Masculinity.” That’s my story. It has contributed in shaping not only my perspective, but I believe also my need to touch ground under my feet if I am to move into a different direction. Being sure of why I believe what I believe is as important as what I believe.
I also have experienced the dark and violent systematic hammering of the “political” gay agenda, while serving in a mostly gay university community radio, who for years has seen heterosexual males chewed up out of the station or out of a job, with a sizeable cost to these men’s health and energy, social engagement and even reputation. Maybe it is something that isn’t talked about much, but it exists. There is a powerful solidarity from those “inner circles,” I have been on the receiving end of it. LBGTQ are people too, some good, some not so good. Let’s not sugar-coat it for the sake of argument.
As this phrase came to me today while I started to find myself freed to stand in a place of grace I had never been able to access, I share it again here. “Transgender is not a disguise, but an identity.”
Transgenders are people too, no matter the side of God’s law we may determine them to be found by us. I have two words coming to mind: Jesus wept. And He alone can restore identities, and lives, in HIS time, in HIS ways.

Let’s guard against defaulting to the favorite slogans or one-liners published by the fear-mongering Christian Right (that one-winged evangelical agenda bird, flapping in circle) that is monopolizing the oxygen in the Upper Room, and let us welcome the Holy Spirit’s brilliance in giving us the light we need… for the sake of love.

Consider this. in closing:


Peace to you, hoping this was helpful in some way…

Andre Lefebvre

p.s. I write imperfectly. This isn’t a Bible book, but my own musings and sharing of my journey…



The most important anniversary of the year was the 40th anniversary of September 11, 1973 — the crushing of the democratic government of Chile by General Augusto Pinochet and Henry Kissinger, then US secretary of state.

The National Security Archive in Washington has posted new documents that reveal much about Kissinger’s role in an atrocity that cost thousands of lives.


In declassified tapes, Kissinger is heard planning with President Richard Nixon the overthrow of left-wing President Salvador Allende. They sound like Mafiosi thugs.

Kissinger warns that the “model effect” of Allende’s reformist democracy “can be insidious”. He tells CIA director Richard Helms: “We will not let Chile go down the drain”.

Helms replies: “I am with you.”

With the slaughter under way, Kissinger dismisses a warning by his senior officials on the scale of the repression. Secretly, he tells Pinochet: “You did a great service to the West.”

To understand the complex world in which we live, we need not only witnesses to the events that are reported in our media – we need people who can explain to us what it is we are watching – what plans, causes, interests, players, and what strategies are at the root of seemingly randomly occurring maddening atrocities. Because while all we want is to live in peace and to develop and grow a better and just world, others are only intent in ensuring the supremacy of their own power. And there is no boutique in hell they haven’t shopped to find new choreographies of atrocities, with pageantry of deception as added bonus.

THAT IS WHY I urge you to visit John Pilger’s website and read and watch his reports. Behind the scene of much of our militarized world’s events, there are forces acting in collusion. How then shall we live?

[John Richard Pilger is an Australian journalist based in London. Since his early years as a war correspondent in Vietnam, Pilger has been a strong critic of American, Australian and British foreign policy, which he considers to be driven by an imperialist agenda.

Pilger has also criticized his native country’s treatment of indigenous Australians and the practices of the mainstream media.

In the British print media, he has had a long association with the Daily Mirror, and writes a fortnightly column for the New Statesman magazine.

Pilger has twice won Britain’s Journalist of the Year Award, and his documentaries, screened internationally, have gained awards in Britain and worldwide, and the journalist has received several honorary doctorates.]

Who is my enemy – do I really need one?

We may ask, why are there wars? But really, may not a better question be: why are there STILL wars? Today?

Why are we so intent on finding who my enemy is, who “OUR” enemy is? But ask: who am I told to fear? And why is today’s enemy not the same as the enemy we were told to fear and destroy 20 years ago?

Here’s a fascinating short answer… (Don’t mind the useless warning, nothing is disturbing in this video except the truths it states).

Gorman to Ray: “This isn’t about sides. This is about confusion. This is about creating enemies. The goddamn world’s falling apart.”

“Peace reigns…” “Freedom reigns…” “Democracy rules…”

“How can we keep the military/industrial complex chugging forward without clear-cut, pit-faced, scum-sucking evil breathing down our neck? Hmmm? Threatening our very shores?”

“Now, my job is to make sure the other side keeps fighting; whatever side — I mean whatever side we’re officially not on this year.”

Mickey Rourke character Gorman Lennox as a C.I.A. agent, in the movie White Sands