Category Archives: LGBTQ

THE SEX LIFE OF HETEROSEXUAL CHRISTIAN MALES

Since a very high percentage of those who come out and vent their (veiled) disgust toward LGBTQ are heterosexual Christian males, I thought I’d offer them some food for thought.
 
This blog post is not trying to “SHAME” anyone, but to draw the curtain on the other side of the “LGBTQ vs Christians” debate. In fact there isn’t a real debate, not a real conversation. I have repeatedly tried to point to this over the last year, since I myself came to realize I had only one answer: to belabor the same talking points over and over again. I had to repent and since then it allowed me to move forward in my understanding of God’s expectations toward myself and others.
 
So much obsession about sex, though… Could it be hiding something? Let’s explore that potential, shall we?
 
HYPOCRISY CRAZY SHMANZY
“A number of years ago a national conference for church youth directors was held at a major hotel in a city in the mid-west. Youth pastors by the hundreds flooded into that hotel and took nearly every room. At the conclusion of the conference, the hotel manager told the conference administrator that the number of guests who tuned into the adult movie channel broke the previous record, far and away outdoing any other convention in the history of the hotel.”
(Steve Farrar, ‘Finishing Strong’)
 
“I interviewed hotel managers about this when I was teaching in the sociology department at Univ of Virginia. All managers said that porn rates increase during conferences in general. That’s normal because they have more guests. A few admitted that it seems to be the same or a bit more when Christian conferences come to town. One manager was a Christian and he said a line I’ll never forget: “Unfortunately, ‘they know you are Christians by your…porn consumption’ is more truthful than ‘love’ when it comes to this.”
(Justin Holcomb)
 
In her book Sex, Lies and the Media, Eva Marie Everson recounts the following story: “My friend Jack Samad with the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families shocked me with the story of his attendance at a religious convention. The manager of the hotel where he had been staying noticed the posters and other paraphernalia he had carried through the lobby early one morning and then back in again later that afternoon. He stopped Jack and asked him what he was doing with all that information on pornography. Jack told him he was part of the Christian conference being held in the city. The manager chuckled. “Get real,” he said. Porn movies in our hotel are accessed at a higher rate during Christian conventions than at any other time.”
 
“With statistics showing that at least half of Christian men and 20% of women are viewing porn (see Porn Statistics) this means that the church, God’s people, are:
 
1. Funding the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Millions of Christian Americans are tithing to two churches: the church of God and the porn-church of Satan. We’re literally backing the work of demons.
 
2. Supporting the destruction of men, women and children. The U.S. is the porn producer of the world, and the church is paying pornographers so they can continue to produce more materials that will destroy the lives of the actors and actresses in those movies, and the marriages, families and children in every corner of society.
 
3. Corrupting ourselves. Our hearts are stained with lust and our marriages and families are paying the price.
 
4. Giving mixed messages to the world. On one hand we’re holding God’s standards for sexual purity aloft, while in the next we’re winking at the enemy. The Bible calls such people Hypocrites… Pharisees.
 
5. Dishonoring the Lord. What does our approval and funding of the porn industry say about God? Does it make the outside world question His power, or even His existence? After all, shouldn’t a powerful God be strong enough to free His people from sin? Or… is the problem that we really want our sin more than God?
 
6. Fueling the demand for porn. A big market for their product encourages the porn industry to ramp up production; more lives are destroyed.
 
7. Putting ourselves nearer to God’s judgment and discipline (or scourging, as the writer in Hebrews 12:6 puts it). Not a good place to be.
 
The above should make us sick to our stomach… angry…. and broken hearted. We’re destroying lives. We’re backing Satan’s work. We’re sending people to hell. A church does this when it refuses to take bold action and confront the truth.” (Source = Mike Genung – http://www.roadtograce.net/church-porn-customer/)
 
IS MASTURBATION A FORM OF HOMOSEXUALITY?
Technically, I am not sure, but to me it’s like marijuana is to stronger drugs – entry-level dive downward.
“In his book “The Sexual Man”, Dr. Archibald Hart revealed the results of a survey of some 600 Christian men, on the topic of masturbation:
– 61% of married Christian men masturbate
– 82% of these have self sex on an average of once a week;
– 10% have sex with self 5-10 times per month, 6% more than 15 times per month, and 1% more than 20 times a month.
– 13% of Christian married men said they felt it was normal.
– 77% of online visitors to adult content sites are male. Their average age is 41 and they have an annual income of $60,000. 46% are married. (Forrester Research Report, 2001)
 
AND THE MAIN REASON THE WORLD IS DISGUSTED BY CHRISTIANITY is NOT because so many Christians and churches act as holier than thou and cause people to live in depression, rejection, dejection, oppression and condemnation – although that’s enough to warrant running away – but mainly because of the way church-going Christians have a very hard time loving one another. For reals. And THAT is the ONE commandment Jesus gave us. And He added no condition to it: just go and do this, your neighbor is anybody in need you cross path with. Before we keep filling online threads about our superior knowledge of Scripture, let’s OBEY the commandment Scripture points to.
We can help reduce the amount of waste of relationships online, and encourage younger believers, and well-intentioned but misguided older ones, to focus on what is really important. Humanity is self-defeating, self-destructing. No one (1) sin is responsible for this state of affair, rather it is as old as the world is. It’s time we start saturating the world with a Christian love that moves beyond prerequisites for love and dignity.
 
Andre Lefebvre
21st Century Christians FB Group
Thank you to BlazingGrace.com for their article : “Statistics and information on pornography – internet porn and other forms – in the USA”
http://www.blazinggrace.org/porn-statistics/

BATHROOM BILL SENDS SOCIETY TO OUTHOUSE

HOW DID WE USE PUBLIC BATHROOMS BEFORE? As recommended by the manufacturers, and according to the law of nature: guys looking like guys used the guys’ bathroom, and girls looking like girls using the girls’ bathroom. As far as I know, sexual orientation is not a gender, so we don’t need a third option. BUT transgenderism IS a gender. Uh… what? Yes, indeed – they are either male or female. Now that this is out of the way, let’s consider a few brief things concerning the deafening conversation of deafs going on right now.

1- As I suggested in another article titled TRANSGENDER – NOT A DISGUISE, BUT AN IDENTITY,

“Aren’t we all people of contradiction? Yes we are. Still, something in me was restless, I hated not being able to move beyond my disapproval of the polarizing “politics of the gay agenda” which tries to impose its views through unilateral legislation, and equaling suspicion of – or actual – discrimination with being homicidal, pushing people toward suicides, or inciting violence toward LGBTQ, and the other side of the coin (in my case, Christianity) where Jesus teaches us to love one another as He loves us.”

“I’m nowhere near the sweet spot of walking in love as I wish I was, but I will never be ashamed of having walked this journey with as much integrity as I could muster, despite being insulted, mocked and ostracized by people who, for the most part, hardly ever took the time to get to know me. Ironic, isn’t it, that coming from people advocating equality…”

It seems the polarizing of positions has blurred which we defend: some Christians go around preaching purity and moral values, with a bazooka at the ready, and quickly re-armed, while some pro-LGBTQ preach tolerance with words of molten lava, and those who Are Christians may even call us non-Christians based on our performance in the area of social justice “cause du jour.”

The reason why that is? We get our cues from mob mentality, rather than common sense and courtesy. The lost art of conversation has been replaced with call-to-action slogans, intimidation and threat, insults, outright ignorant or idiotic narratives. The infamous bathroom bill is the latest proof of how much we need to take action to recapture the freedom we claim we fought for.

THIS BILL IS ABOUT THE STATE’S RIGHT TO DISCRIMINATE

QUOTE: “Does HB2 affect rights of people who aren’t gay or transgender?

Yes. The law limits how people pursue claims of discrimination because of race, religion, color, national origin, biological sex or handicap in state courts. The law also means a city or county cannot set a minimum wage standard for private employers.”

IN OTHER WORDS, if you are fired, or discriminated against, as a man, woman, migrant, Muslim, Christian, LGBTQ, teenager, child, etc., the law establishes the acceptable and non-acceptable behaviour of private persons and employers, AND IT FORBIDS local governments to impose different parameters.

READTHEBILL READTHEBILL READTHEBILL READTHEBILL
Before we get all tangled up in a “OMG! the gay agenda is being pushed again!!,” (I know – too late…) let us realize that it’s not the gay agenda in play, but actually a state legislated push-back against the gay activism, limiting the legal reach of local disagreement, the right of cities to have laws that are different than the State, as well other types of discrimination which would now have less power to oppose the State’s laws. Including wages, private companies regulations, racism and sexism, etc.
Time to THINK FOR OURSELVES AGAIN! How sad that we can be wiggled into outrage so quickly without applying discernment, and believing Christian leaders and the gay agenda narrative. Christians need to wake up and start thinking things through, and gently rebuke the lies. We hate lies, don’t we?

TRANSGENDER – NOT A DISGUISE, BUT AN IDENTITY

BECAUSE WE CAN MOVE BEYOND THE MOST OBVIOUS TO FIND THE MOST PRECIOUS, WE SHOULD DESIRE TO.
I knew it would happen to me one day. I secretly admired believers who seemed to have no barriers, or be animated by a more mature love than I toward LGBTQs. It’s been a long journey, and all I could do was to state over and over where I got stuck, what I knew to be obvious, testing my own opinions against a tide of contrary ones with both passion and frustration. Today, the dam broke for me. I want to express my gratefulness to Simon Wilson who broke my isolation with one sentence, without insults, on a Facebook thread.
 trans
I had wondered and was seeking to engage (again) in a conversation, to learn from those of the opposing view. Needless to say, my (debatable) delivery was almost all  that people could see. And immediately the knifes starting flying in my direction. But since when do I have to espouse all the thinking and opinions of one group of people I may share similarities with? Aren’t we all people of contradiction? Yes we are. Still, something in me was restless, I hated not being able to move beyond my disapproval of the polarizing “politics of the gay agenda” which tries to impose its views through unilateral legislation, and equaling suspicion of – or actual – discrimination with being homicidal, pushing people toward suicides, or inciting violence toward LGBTQ, and the other side of the coin (in my case, Christianity) where Jesus teaches us to love one another as He loves us.
 
I’m always shocked and saddened by accounts of violence against gays, youth suicides, substance abuse, excommunications, murders, etc. IT WILL NEVER BE OK. We all want to be understood. We all want to be the hero at least once. We all want a place of honor, to be welcomed, included, find a home. It’s no different whether we find ourselves on one side of an issue or the other.
 
I’m nowhere near the sweet spot of walking in love as I wish I was, but I will never be ashamed of having walked this journey with as much integrity as I could muster, despite being insulted, mocked and ostracized by people who, for the most part, hardly ever took the time to get to know me. Ironic, isn’t it, that coming from people advocating equality…
Going forward will follow the same pattern: being real, even if unpopular, accepting that I cannot go at it alone, and trusting that the Holy Spirit will drop drops of light on my journey in due time. As I believe He does for everyone. It’s a matter of responding to it, I think. And I’m saying yes to being changed. This is too serious.
 
I will respect the right of everyone to pursue the sexual partner they choose, that is not my place to legislate on that, although I do personally hold to the traditional man/women configuration. But I also will expect to be respected to not agree with everything having to do with that. And the freedom (‘sanity’ seems a more fitting word) to wrestle with my opinions and that of others.
 
In closing, I’m offering a glimpse into my past to set a backdrop to my own dilemmas, and the maturing process of personal opinions:
 
I was molested as a boy, and as a pre-teen, I cross-dressed once or twice as a teenager “for fun” (which teen hasn’t?). I had homosexual encounters as a young adult (wrapped in a spiritual meaning of some kind), I lived in Montreal’s Gay Village for about 2 years, but I never embraced homosexuality as a lifestyle, nor did I ever experienced desires for men. But when my first marriage broke-up, the first book I reached for was Leanne Payne’s “Crisis in Masculinity.” That’s my story. It has contributed in shaping not only my perspective, but I believe also my need to touch ground under my feet if I am to move into a different direction. Being sure of why I believe what I believe is as important as what I believe.
 
I also have experienced the dark and violent systematic hammering of the “political” gay agenda, while serving in a mostly gay university community radio, who for years has seen heterosexual males chewed up out of the station or out of a job, with a sizeable cost to these men’s health and energy, social engagement and even reputation. Maybe it is something that isn’t talked about much, but it exists. There is a powerful solidarity from those “inner circles,” I have been on the receiving end of it. LBGTQ are people too, some good, some not so good. Let’s not sugar-coat it for the sake of argument.
 
As this phrase came to me today while I started to find myself freed to stand in a place of grace I had never been able to access, I share it again here. “Transgender is not a disguise, but an identity.”
 
Transgenders are people too, no matter the side of God’s law we may determine them to be found by us. I have two words coming to mind: Jesus wept. And He alone can restore identities, and lives, in HIS time, in HIS ways.

Let’s guard against defaulting to the favorite slogans or one-liners published by the fear-mongering Christian Right (that one-winged evangelical agenda bird, flapping in circle) that is monopolizing the oxygen in the Upper Room, and let us welcome the Holy Spirit’s brilliance in giving us the light we need… for the sake of love.

Consider this. in closing:

 400x300_6_TransgenderMemory

Peace to you, hoping this was helpful in some way…

Andre Lefebvre

p.s. I write imperfectly. This isn’t a Bible book, but my own musings and sharing of my journey…